I Hate Goodbyes!

This is the only way to describe today. 


I don't know why, but I could use a Dumb & Dumber quote for about every emotion or happening in life. Harry and Lloyd just get me, man.  

Welp. The anticipation of this day has been one thing, but I really wasn’t prepared for how I would feel today, on Colts Cheerleading audition day- the first one not auditioning. 

colts cheer auditions 2016 brittany hagan
It makes it so real, and if I’m being honest, makes my heart fall into my stomach. Not in a regret sort of way, I still know this is the right decision at the right time, but the way that graduating from high school or college feels (insert cheesy Michelle Branch song and fetal position cry). 

colts cheerleaders in lucas oil stadium

It’s an ending you’re never quite ready for, no matter how much you tell yourself you are. You love the place and the people so much and all the growth it’s brought you. You find so much of your identity in it for so long, that you find yourself free falling in a way wondering who you are without it (although I’m starting to get a sense of who that is again - and I tell you what, I’m freaking AWESOME. Kiddingggg) 

colts cheerleader swimsuit shoot cancun mexico 2015

Mostly, I just miss the women that I got to surround myself with. I want to be with them on this day. I know how it feels, the nerves (even if you don’t need to be nervous), the adrenaline, the sense of community of sinking or swimming together. The incredible comfort of being part of a team when you are that vulnerable.

colts cheerleading auditions 2016

Experiencing that rush together is something that’s really hard to replace. So, today I have them in my heart and in my mind as we step in different directions, but always, always together. 

indianapolis colts cheerleaders entire team

My heart is ridiculously full for those new women that will step into our boots. I feel like a mama to these girls. They really have no idea the incredible journey they are about to go on. Taking this step today will be one of the best choices of their lives, and I am happy and humbled for someone else to have the chance to experience what I have. 

I honestly wish I could share what it’s like with everyone, but it’s hard to describe without being cliche. So, I’ll leave it at that and just say GOOD LUCK to everyone and may the odds be ever in your favor! 😃

indianapolis colts cheerleaders london wembly stadium

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